Seinfeld Quotes


		powered by FreeFind QUOTES "Do? Do? Hey, I'm doing what I do. You know, I've always done what I do. I'm doing what I do, way I've always done and the way I'll Always Do it." --Kramer (The Trip Part Two) "But, but I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I got it all!!" --George (The Visa) "Hey, I'm on first and first. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe." --Kramer (The Maid) "All right, all right. All right you go ahead. You go ahead and keep it secret. But you remember this. When you control the mail, you control... information." --Newman (The Lip Reader) "--Astroturf? You know who's responsible for that, don't you?! The Jews! Ah, the Jews hate grass. They always have, they always will." --George (The Limo) "I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Susie--ahhh. And most of all, I will never, forget that one night. Working late on the catalogue. Just the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation. And it was Pretty Good." --J. Peterman (The Susie) "I don't know what you expect to find out there, Jerry, you know what you want better than me. But there's one thing I do know. I know I can stand here watching you destroy everything I've ever wanted in my life, wanting to smash your face with my fists, because you won't make even the slightest effort to offer happiness and still know that I love you. You mean so much to me that I'm willing to take all your abuse and insults and insensitivity. 'Cause that's what you need to do to prove I'm not going to leave you. I'm sick and tired of running from places and people and relationships. You want me, than fight for me, because I'm sure as hell fighting for you!" --Nina in a plagiarized letter to Jerry (The Letter) Elaine: Ok, well why don't we just put these two tables together? George: No, no, you can't do that they're round, it makes an 'eight' and, yeah, well alright. --Elaine and George (The Visa) Jerry: There's been a big misunderstanding here! We did that whole thing for your benefit. We knew you were eavesdropping. That's why my friend said all that. It was on purpose! We're not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that... George: No, of course not... Jerry: I mean that's fine if that's who you are... George: Absolutely... Jerry: I mean I have many gay friends... George: My father is gay... Sharon: Look, I know what I heard. Jerry: It was a joke... George: Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right now? Let's go! C'mon, let's go baby! C'mon! --George, Jerry and Sharon from NYU (The Outing) Jerry : So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo ? Kramer : It's just a write off for them . Jerry : How is it a write off ? Kramer : They just write it off . Jerry : Write it off what ? Kramer : Jerry all these big companies they write off everything Jerry : You don't even know what a write off is . Kramer : Do you ? Jerry : No . I don't . Kramer : But they do and they are the ones writing it off . Jerry : I wish I just had the last twenty seconds of my life back . --Kramer and Jerry (The Package) (Elaine and George trying to lie to Susan so George can go on a date with Marisa Tomei) Susan: So, what does he uh, import? Elaine: Uh... chips. Susan: Oh. What kinda chips? Elaine: Potato. Susan: Ah. Elaine: Some corn. Susan: And what does he export? Elaine: Diapers. (Next Scene) George: Hi. Susan: Hi. So, George, what does Art Vandelay import? George: Matches. Long matches. -- Susan, Elaine, and George (The Cadillac)

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